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The Future of Rory Rammer

LG:  Lisa Getto, back again with Jack Jolley, producer for the forthcoming “Rory Rammer, Space Marshal” TV project.
JJ:  Good to be here.

LG:  Jack, what attracted you to a “Rory Rammer” revival?
JJ:  Lisa, “Rory Rammer” is a mainstay of American popular culture. It has tremendous nostalgia appeal, while being artistically challenging, action-packed, and thematically relevant for the twenty-first century.

LG:  I see. I think. Will you be sticking to the original series?
JJ:  Absolutely. We have tremendous respect for “Classic Rory,” and will be hewing closely to the original concept, while re-imagining it for a contemporary demographic.

LG:  I — see. So we can look forward to seeing more of Rory, Skip, the Space Marshals, the “Silver Star” — ?
JJ:  Absolutely. Right down the line. Well — there will be a slight title change.

LG:  To what?
JJ:  “Rory Rammer, XTCU.”

LG:  “XTCU”?
JJ:  “Extra-Terrestrial Crime Unit.”

LG:  O-kay. Well, as long as it’s still Rory and Skip —
JJ:  “Lips.”

LG:  “Lips”?
JJ:  Yes, we updated Skip Sagan’s gender. To female.

LG:  Cast the role yet?
JJ:  She’s six feet tall, ash-blonde, with a brain like a positronic computer, and a body made for either lethal, bare-handed combat or passionate physicality, whichever the situation calls for!

LG:  “Passionate physicality”?
JJ:  Let’s just say that she takes a very — personal — interest in her superior officer, as they pursue their undercover mission through the Asteroid Belt, pursued by both The Man and Interplanetary Organized Crime. (Beat) And she doesn’t wear too many clothes.

LG:  Let’s cut to the chase: Are they having sex?
JJ:  That depends.

LG:  On what?
JJ:  On what the ratings look like after the fourth or fifth show.

LG:  And what if that doesn’t, uh — “bring up” your ratings?
JJ:  Two words: Mutant baby.

LG:  Thank you, Jack Jolley, producer of the new “Rory Rammer” —
JJ:  — “Extra-Terrestrial Crime Unit” —

LG:  Look for it this fall —
JJ:  — or maybe spring of 2005 —

LG:  On Fox.
JJ:  Or could be UPN.

LG:  Maybe the SciFi Channel?
JJ:  Possibly at a video-rental store near you.

LG:  “Soon to be a minor motion picture.” Thank you, Jack.

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The 3,000-Year Old Radio SF Writer [Less 2,915 Years]

LG:  Good evening, I’m Lisa Getto, and we are very happy to have a special guest this evening: Norman Winstock, one of the original writers for “Rory Rammer, Space Marshal”!
NW:  Thank you, thank you. Very happy to be here. Happy to be anywhere, to tell the truth.

LG:  And how about giving us that famous tag-line?
NW:  Hmm? Oh — yeah. “Up, up, and away!”

LG:  Uh — no. Not that one.
NW:  “Quick, old chum, to the Batmobile?”

LG:  No.
NW:  Oh! I’ve got it: “Ow! I’ve been bitten by a radioactive spider!”

LG:  Nope.
NW:  “Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy Unite?”

LG:  I’ve always found that one a little — suspect. No, I mean the tag-line for “Rory Rammer.”
NW:  Oh, that one! Ahem… “From the skies of Earth, to the orbit of the Moon!” (Coughing fit)

LG:  Easy, Norman. Can you go on?
NW:  I think so. I’ll give ya’ a sign if I can’t.

LG:  And that will be?
NW:  I’ll fall down and stop breathing.

LG:  I’ll watch for that. Now — “Rory Rammer” had a remarkable string of predictions about the world of 1985 A.D. Space travel, of course. Telescopes in orbit. The fall of the Soviet Union. Don’t you feel a certain pride, when you reflect back on your status as a prophet of the future?
NW:  Actually, I am haunted by two particular predictions I made. One successful, the other completely off the mark. And they were both in that one episode, “Luna Shall Be Dry!”

LG:  And those were — ?
NW:  The first was the prediction of disco music.

LG:  Certainly a major cultural trend —
NW:  More like a crime against humanity! All through the later 1970’s, I had nightmares about being hauled up in front of a war crimes tribunal for that ‘un!

LG:  And the prediction that didn’t work out?
NW:  Heh! I actually predicted that — one day — the State of Massachusetts would have a senior United States Senator who didn’t drink like a fish! (Cackles) What was I thinking of?

LG:  I can’t imagine. Now, if we could talk a moment about Mary-Jane Talbot, who played “Kryssa Feynman” during the second season —
NW:  Lovely, sweet girl.

LG:  Yes, she was.
NW:  Liked that costume she wore.

LG:  Yes, the skirts were very short, especially for 1949.
NW:  Devil between the sheets.

LG:  I — uh, wouldn’t know.
NW:  I would. Not too bright, though.

LG:  And why do you say that?
NW:  Silly girl! Tried to get ahead by sleeping with the writer! (Cackles wildly, then goes into Cheyne-Stokes breathing)

LG:  Is this that “sign” you were telling me about?
NW:  (Gasping) Oh,yeah.

LG:  Harry? Could we get some oxygen up here?

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